


Free Will

by KawaiiDeku



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armin goes full BernArnold from Westworld, Coup d'état, F/M, Good ol smut, Major Manga Spoilers, Yelena as a much better villain, a battle of love versus duty, introspective piece on free will and personal vices, secret lineage, themes of influence and enslavement
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-06-25 17:14:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19750186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KawaiiDeku/pseuds/KawaiiDeku
Summary: A grave military secret has been thrust upon you. But how can you confide in your beloved when his mind has been entangled with another? What measures will you take to drown the sorrows of your estranged relationship? (It’s not as if you can drink the wine.) Will you join the Yeagerists? Undermine Historia’s power? Or will you choose tact and diplomacy and become a double agent on the Scouts’ behalf? Why not all of the above?Is all of this your will or the imprinted duty of your bloodline? Are your convictions your own or are you just a pawn in Yelena’s scheme for an Eldian Master Race?





	1. Chapter 1: Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Also, reader is blonde because it's relevant to the plot.

** Chapter 1: Secrets **

"Sorry. I've got to run that errand first. Catch up with you later?"

 _'Lying now?'_ You raised an eyebrow as he turned towards the door. Armin's eyes were much too large to veil his guile; he really ought to give up the practice. Perhaps you were wrong and he was telling the truth, but the chances of that were slim. You had heard him tell a similar vague lie to an officer the other day, only to retreat down the basement steps for a few hours. You decided to call his bluff just to be sure. "Ah, wonderful. I just finished sorting through the list of new scouting recruits. Would you be a dear and drop it off to Zackley for me? Since you're going there anyway." A flicker of discontent danced across his pale features before being immediately suppressed.

"...Sure." He nodded once and outstretched his hand.

"If it's inconvenient for you, I can-"

"No, no. Don't trouble yourself." He smiled. "I should be back before supper. Want to see what Niccolo is making tonight?"

"Uh..." A grimace crinkled your countenance. "Are you sure that wouldn't be insensitive of us? Considering-"

"I thought the same thing too, but he offered. He says it's what she would have wanted. And I think doing what he loves is a distraction from the grief."

"Mm." You chewed your bottom lip thoughtfully. "If it's something Eren likes we should bring some back for him."

"That's assuming they let us see him... Maybe Hange can make an exception in this case."

"Hope so."

"Well, I better get going and make sure I don't catch the General during one of his afternoon meetings."

"Thanks again for doing me this favor, Armin. You're such a sweetheart." You blew him a kiss. For an instant he seemed taken aback, but his surprise melted into a warm smile before he returned the gesture. You held back your chuckle until the heavy wooden door latched shut. After all this time he still blushed at something as simple as that. His propensity to become easily flustered was definitely a Bertolt-ism you had grown fond of. Or had it been an Armin-ism all along? It was hard to be entirely sure nowadays.

Were the two of you dating? Sort of... Following Armin's unspeakable brush with death you had openly confessed, though it was surprising he was able to make out any words at all considering how hard you were bawling when you said it. After nearly losing him any fear of rejection seemed trivial, and much to your delight he was pleased by your divulgence. For the briefest of times the two of you shared a dazzling period of reciprocation. However, when the time limits of the Nine Titans were brought to light, a sort of rift emerged between you.

Discovering your beloved's shortened lifespan spawned a feeling akin to swallowing a gallon of sharp knives. Armin, on the other hand, didn't seem to be nearly as shaken by his impending demise. He had been prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice to preserve humanity's future, and believed it was his destiny to die on that rooftop in Shiganshina. Yet here you both sat, solemnly discussing the facets of your now-limited future. Armin addressed the situation exactly as you expected, and tried to convince you that it would be a waste to hold affection for him any longer, as it would only cause you more suffering and loss down the road. He insisted that you deserved a long happy life and could settle down with any number of men who came to call after the fight was won. It was a sound and logical argument, as all of Armin's are, but it was not enough to deter your feelings. You asserted he was worth it, and that he should want to savor the joys of humanity as much as he can- while he can- rather than count them among his losses. He seemed to take those words to heart... at least for a while.

Your constant refusal of his rationale was touching, but it didn't take long before Armin began to rehearse a breakup plan. This endeavor had failed once before, as you'd seen right through to his true motivations and brushed it off, so he resolved this one would have to be as foolproof and believable as possible. _'Less than twelve years left... I won't make it 'til thirty. Levi is older now than I'll ever be. A breakup is much easier to bear than the death of someone you love. This is for the best.'_

"Please... We can talk this out..." Hearing you squeak out his signature words in desperation was almost enough to extinguish his determination. But he'd finally convinced you; he couldn't back out now.

"We were just silly children with unrealistic goals. This is reality and we both know how this is going to end. You can't help me anymore. You never could."

"You don't mean that..." You deeply searched his eyes for hints of reluctance, any flicker of tenderness that would expose this as a ruse.

" _I_ think..." The critical fault in his original separation plan had been projecting too much spotlight on you, saying things like, 'you wouldn't be happy if...' and so on. That was the miscalculation that you managed to sniff out. This time he would switch the focus around. "...we've outgrown each other. This isn't working for me anymore."

"I see..." Armin watched the sobriety sink into your posture and it was all he could do not to offer a physical touch of comfort. You swallowed and drew a shaky breath before speaking again. "May I offer... a counterproposal?" Two blue eyes blinked at you, then moved in conjunction with his slow nod. Armin greatly appreciated logical acumen in the face of emotionally charged situations, but he never actually expected to see it occur. "I'm not sure where this is coming from... or why it came up all of the sudden..." Actually it wasn't sudden at all. The clever blond had taken care to distance himself from you for the better part of two weeks to make this plan more convincing. _Of course_ you had to go and play the ideal flexible partner, and gave him space without raising a stink about it, so to you it probably _did_ appear sudden. As if this venture wasn't arduous enough already. "...but if it's a question of obligation, I understand. We have a greater war on our hands and responsibilities to another person can be stressful. I get that. So... what I'm asking is... for you to still count on me for certain things. We don't have to call it anything if you don't want to. I wont hold you to any kind of contract." You noted him tilt his head in curiosity. "But... I still want to be able to comfort you when you're sad. And be useful to you in... other ways." You couldn't look him in the eye when you said it. "No one can face this world alone. Just let me be whatever you need me to be, and then tell me to leave when you don't need me anymore."

"N-no way!" He was appalled by your suggestion. "I could never ask for anything as one-sided as that!" He felt his callous façade slipping.

"But seeing you at your best makes me happy. I don't need anything else from you."

"I... You..." He fumbled for a moment, unable to find his voice. Those words had fired in his heart like a shotgun, and now the internal war had truly begun, one between what was best and what he truly wanted. The altruistic face of humanity had arrived, guns blazing, and the walls of logic crumbled in its wake. _'How am I supposed to respond to that?'_ Armin had mentally prepped himself for all kinds of scenarios. Had he expected you to yell at him? Yes. Cry? Possibly. But offering yourself in such a selfless way? It had utterly disarmed him. How could he possibly let you go after that?! Armin felt the familiar moisture prickling the corners of his eyes and bit his lip to keep his chin from quivering. "Think about what you're saying. You can't possibly be okay with settling for-"

"I've made up my mind already. Seeing you be strong gives me the strength to do what I have to do."

"No! That's not fair!" He was rapidly losing composure, a dam seconds away from cracking. "I-I think it's best if we end it now!"

"I believe we can come to some sort of arrangement." You stood your ground, cornering Armin with his own tactics. Or at least you thought you had... It was now you noticed his pained expression, showing no signs of abating anytime soon, and a possibility you hadn't considered suddenly launched itself to the forefront of your mind, stealing the breath from your lungs on its way. "That is..." Your gaze and stomach dropped. "...unless you don't... w-want me at all anymore." Tears welled in your eyes. Your voice broke, as did Armin's willpower. "If that's the case, can I..." He saw you reach out to him, tone meeker than he'd ever heard it, brokenhearted expression making his chest tighten. "Just once more can we... OOMPH!"

"I'm sorry!" In an instant you felt his arms latch around you and his face bury into your shoulder. "I'm sorry! I was wrong! Can you please just... forget everything I just said? All of it?"

"Huh?!" You blinked in disbelief as he held you tighter and hiccupped a noise of overwhelming remorse.

"I didn't mean it! Any of it! I don't want to send you away..." You felt his tears soak through your shirt. "I... I want you to rely on me too!" He sobbed. "I wish we had more time!"

"Armin..." The troubled emotion vanished from your tone. "Was this seriously another one of your fake breakups?"

"I'm sorry," was his answer.

"UUUGH!" You growled out your pent-up tension and felt him flinch in surprise. "I hate you for doing this!" He pulled back but didn't remove his hands from your waist.

"Not as much as I hate myself..."

"...I believe you." You replied flatly, taking a shot at his self-depreciative nature. He caught the playful sarcasm and chuckled, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

"Looks like I'm too selfish to let you go. Can you forgive me?"

"If you promise not to pull this crap ever again."

"I promise." He nodded firmly and you pulled him back into your embrace.

Armin stayed true to his promise and there had not been another occurrence. The two of you had been going strong since that day, so when did things change?

You managed to trace it back to the mission in Liberio. After Eren's rogue mission ended in mass civilian casualties, the Scouts had begun to doubt Eren's loyalty. Hange, as a result, ordered Armin to take an extensive look into Bertolt's memories, perhaps in an attempt to predict Marley's next move. For forty-eight hours he stayed cooped up, as if becoming engrossed in a good book. Something had changed since then. He said he hadn't found out anything of use, aside from how the warrior children were trained and how they lived in walls similar to the three you all had grown up in. Armin was right; these facts were only meager bridges to the tiny gaps of Grisha's diary.

Never once would you believe Armin was hiding crucial information; he was far too magnanimous for that. However, since that time the two of you had become more casual in your affections, like the years by his side had regressed. You told yourself it was because of the sheer amount of new information your country was forced to digest, that you were both just too busy to focus on something as small-scale as love. But recently your gut told you there was something more going on behind the curtain of cobalt eyes.

 _'Armin...'_ You narrowed your eyes as you watched him pass the small stack of papers you just handed him to another scout, peer over his shoulder and slip around the corner. _'What's going on in that head of yours?'_

You decided to follow him.


	2. Chapter 2: Spy

** Chapter 2: Spy **

_'What's he doing down there?'_ You puzzled when a familiar flicker of golden hair bounced down the dimly lit staircase. _'Is he going to talk to Eren? ...That can't be it. Hange's away this week making plans for the railway. There's no way Zackley would let the two titans conspire in a room together, even if they have been friends since childhood.'_ You plunked your back against the brick and sighed. _'Maybe he's drinking.'_ Since the port had been opened, Marleyan wine had flooded the district. Pixis swore by it, calling it nectar from the heavens, and you'd rarely seen him in his leisure time since without a bottle on-hand. _'No. Armin's not the type. Dulling his sharp intellect would likely make him feel uncomfortable, out of control.'_ But then you remembered Sasha. _'Unless he's more broken up about her death than he wants to let on... I should just mind my own business,'_ you thought, turning away. _'He'll talk to me when he's ready.'_ Your feet refused to take another step. _'What else is down there though? ...The supply room, I think? That has to be it. Armin is reorganizing.'_ That would definitely explain his lengthy disappearance time. _'I should've known. It was silly of me to be suspicious in the first place.'_

"Are you sure there's no problem with me coming here?" The sudden proximity of Armin's voice in your ears jolted you into motion. One look and he would know you followed him down here. He could read your eyes like he reads a book: with intense speed and accuracy. You managed to high tail it behind a nearby door before he and whomever he was speaking to ascended the apex of the staircase.

"No, no. It's nice someone else visits her besides me."

 _'Her?'_ You wondered, pressing your back to the door and holding your breath till they passed. _'Who is Hitch talking about?'_

"What are you doing?"

"BUWAH!" A yelp escaped your throat when you realized you weren't alone in the room. Dark eyes peered up at you from behind a desk. "Oh. Yelena. I was just..." You blinked and realized you had not thought of any way to end that sentence.

"Something on your mind?" She leaned forward with an overzealous expression.

"Uhm. Well..."

"How's the history book coming along? Have you... uncovered something?"

 _'What a weird follow-up question.'_ You wrinkled your nose slightly.

"...No. Sorry. I'm only about halfway through." If you were being honest it was a rather disheartening read. You were nearly always in favor of Armin's diplomatic ways, striving for peace and compromise over unnecessary slaughter. However, the world history book she gave you was focused on repetition of the same thing: war. How was the Azumabito enslavement abolished? War. How were the original Marleyan territories divided? War. Yes, there had been treaties signed, but nearly all were broken at some point by future tyrants, only to have the hierarchy restored by, you guessed it, _war_. If you didn't know any better you'd think Yelena was trying to send a message.

"Then what's troubling you?" Her posture relaxed back into the chair.

"Well..." You figured you might as well tell her. She had no reason to go around and blab about things you said. She was a quirky woman to say the least, but gossip seemed beneath her. "It's just that... Armin has become distant since... he inherited his titan." You frowned. There was more to it than that but you didn't want to give away any compromising Scout information. "I don't know if it's the pressure of living up to something or the fear of leaving this world with unfinished business... Maybe it's something else entirely, but... I don't want to bring it up to him because-"

"You don't want to create more stress for him."

"Exactly." You felt like a weight was lifted from your shoulders when she understood your predicament.

"You wish to bear his burden, I see. Eren said the same sort of thing about Historia a while back. It was an honor that he chose to confide such information in little old me. If only the royal bloodlines weren't so scarce." She said wistfully. "Don't you agree?"

"Mm." You nodded.

"What a shame. Historia never wanted such a fate, to become a political puppet and produce heirs. A tragic life for a soldier, being cut off from all the action."

"I don't think she has it that bad..." No doubt Historia had pictured something totally different when she joined the Scouts all those years ago, but you couldn't help but see her position as something to be envied. _'She gets to have a comfortable life with a simple boy she loves... and can grow old with.'_

"On the other hand..." Yelena seemed to snatch the malcontent right from your thoughts. "...you want to breed with the Colossal, am I right?"

"UH?!" The color shot up your face like a thermometer dropped into boiling water and your mouth hung agape. "I... what?!"

"Oh, what brilliant blonde children you'd have!" She praised with a bright smile, acting as though she'd said nothing questionable at all. "Imagine your natural-born leadership skills mixed with his tactical mind." Her casual air only served to befuddle you more.

"I! ...He! ...That's... not in the question right now..." You mumbled in embarrassment. That isn't to say you hadn't considered her proposition. If Armin were willing to gift you a miniature version of himself to keep you company after his... term... you'd jump at the offer. However, the one time you discussed it he seemed pretty adamant about not being willing to leave his child fatherless.

"Life's too short to not chase your ambitions. ...Even shorter for the chosen." She approached the door behind you and opened it, pausing to look at you once more. "Let me know when you reach page two-thirty in the book I mentioned. I'm quite anxious to discuss it with you." And with that she was out the door, leaving you standing there speechless. Suddenly a pair of blue eyes met yours through the open door and now you had panic to match your stupefaction.

"F/N?" Armin's posture stiffened. "Wh-what are you doing here?" Fortunately your brain was so busy rebooting that Armin couldn't have read into the dubious undertones of your presence if he wanted to.

"I was... talking to Yelena."

"Oh?" He seemed unnerved by your answer... or maybe he was just unnerved in general. "About what?"

"A book she lent me."

"Oh."

"What are _you_ doing here? Weren't you going to-"

"Uhm! I... found another Scout that was heading there already, so... I passed it on to them so we could spend some time together." He dawned a crooked smile and a thick silence befell the room. If Hitch's words hadn't been enough to raise your suspicions, Armin's fidgety demeanor definitely would have. Here you were, the one that followed him down here like a creep, yet he was the one looking questionable. You couldn't let on that you felt this way, not if your sleuthing was going to continue on unnoticed.

"So... did you want to go eat then?"

"Sure."

_'Who is this girl you're having secret meetings with... and why?'_

\---------------------

Dinner was quiet... Well, not really. Armin always had things to talk about. _You_ were quiet, and it wasn't long before your acutely observant boyfriend noticed.

"Is there something wrong, F/N?"

"Huh? No..." You mentally searched for a reasonable excuse. "I was just thinking about..." You cast a solemn gaze at Niccolo whose tall form was bent over the hot stove. Armin glanced over and frowned; Sasha's absence was just as painfully apparent to him too. Right now if she were here she'd be bopping around Niccolo in the kitchen, repeatedly asking when the dish would be done, sneaking bites of food while he wasn't looking.

"I know. I've been thinking a lot about it too." His blue eyes fell to the table. "But... no one could have predicted the outcome of Eren's actions. Things would have gone badly even if we hadn't stepped in."

"I wonder what they're going to do with the ones responsible."

"Nothing bad, I hope. They're just kids..."

"So were _we_ when they took everything from us." Armin caught the malice in your voice and paused before speaking again.

"I understand why you feel that way. But... we were attacking our home. It's not surprising that they retaliated that way."

" _Our_ home?"

"I-is that what I said?!" He looked appalled by his misstep. "I meant _their_ home." His fists clenched on the table and his wavering voice returned to its default gentle timbre. "I think we're all shaken about this, really. And it makes me wonder... if maybe there could have been a better way. We'll never know now, will we...?"

He was upset with Eren; of that much you were certain. The harmonious blond had been forced to spill blood on his behalf, and all without proper two-way communication or planning. Even if Armin _had_ managed to come up with a better strategy, he couldn't have reached Eren if he wanted to. Talking him down from his outrageous outbursts was always Armin's talent, but this time he could do nothing, and that fact was taking its toll.

You reached out and placed your hand atop of his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was meant to cover more but I had to split it. So the next chapter will be coming soon.


	3. Chapter 3: Paranoid

** Chapter 3: Paranoid **

_'"I overheard Hitch mention you were visiting somebody. Who was it?" That doesn't sound accusatory at all. So just freaking SAY it! It's not that hard!'_ You glanced over at Armin, who was looking at you expectantly as you walked. _'Oh, shit. Did he just say something?'_ "Huh?" You clueless response caused his brows to knit together, the signature sign of his brain-gears churning.

"...I asked if you wanted to visit the port with me next week."

"I'd love that!" You exclaimed happily and that brought a smile back to his face. The sea always seemed to put Armin at peace. He never got tired of its natural splendor, and he could lose hours staring at the horizon, collecting shells and splashing about. "Oh, but wait... Is it safe?"

"The moles we have on the inside say that they won't launch a counterattack while the rumbling is still a possibility. They're more likely to infiltrate than threaten by force so we're putting safeguards in place for that."

"And even if they _do_ show up on the beach I'm sure you can protect me, so it's fine." You flicked your wrist in a blasé fashion and he seemed pleased by your answer, enough so that his arm slipped around your waist and you felt a warm kiss grace your cheek.

"I'll start planning then." And with that he took his leave, clutching his books close to his chest as he went. You watched him cross the courtyard before turning on your heels.

 _'Time to go fishing.'_ Down the corridor steps you tread, feeling a slight pang of guilt for behaving this way. It was nothing, and you _knew_ it was nothing because you knew Armin. Knowing Hitch, she was probably dragging him along to one of her gal pals for romantic advice or something. He _had_ been in a secure relationship for a long time, after all. If you just had a name that would be all you'd need to deduce what was going on... and stop wasting precious brain space on the matter.

You were well aware that this secrecy was nothing more than a paranoid delusion, so it was your job to secure Armin's alibi for yourself, and prove yourself the idiot you knew you were being. The first plan you had would be to cross-examine the source.

"Hi, Hitch." You smiled politely and she returned it.

"Oh, hello. What brings you down here, F/N?"

"Um..." You decided to be daring. "Zackley needs an updated list of those being disciplined downstairs." She raised an eyebrow but complied with your wishes.

"There've been no major changes. You can tell him that. Eren is still there... and the two Marley hostages as well. And last week we had two cadets that were insubordinate so they spent a night or two there. But it was minor." She shrugged but you were struck by a glimmer of potential.

 _'Last week... That could coincide with Armin's visit.'_ "Ah, I see. Could you give me their names? ...Just to be thorough." She pursed her lips and shuffled through some papers.

"One was named Adrian Hugo and the other was... David Marcelle." You blinked at that.

 _'Those are both boys names...'_ You held in a sigh of disappointment. "I see. Thank you- oop!"

"'Scuse me!" A strained voice came from behind you after colliding with your shoulder. "I'm sorry." You turned to see two cadets with shaking arms full of equipment.

"Ah, it's no problem." You received a grunt in response as they shuffled down the right staircase.

"Don't break anything." Hitch teased from behind. "And it's a no-touch policy on the merchandise down there, understood?"

"Yeah, we got it!" One of them hollered back, voice echoing from the cavernous space.

"Merchandise?" You tilted your head.

"Oh, it's just Annie."

 _'Annie!'_ It had been so long since she'd been transported to HQ that you almost forgot she existed. Hitch continued without pause, ignoring your saucer-wide eyes.

"Despite doing nothing but sleeping she's gotten pretty popular lately. I even caught one boy trying to touch her the other da-" She abruptly cut off her sentence and hissed through her teeth, as if she had said something she shouldn't have.

"...A boy?"

"Just another rowdy cadet."

"Oh."

\--------------------------

During your initial eavesdropping Hitch had confirmed that Armin was indeed going down and talking to a girl, and she said visit _s_ , meaning he'd met with her more than once. That last lead had gotten you nowhere, so the only choice you had left was to follow Armin until he met with this mystery girl again.

Two days passed since your uneventful mini-interrogation before your sweetheart vanished from your peripheral vision. Armin was always the type to announce where he was going and what he was doing. He was an open-communicator to the core, so it was foolhardy of him to believe he could slip away from you unnoticed.

 _'It's not stalking if it's my own boyfriend, right?'_ You chewed on the idea as you silently followed him. _'Technically it's just like being together with him... only he's not aware of it...'_ You grimaced. _'No. It sounds even creepier when I try to justify it.'_

You hesitated at the dimly lit entrance to the staircase. _'This is awful. I'm being awful. It'd break Armin's heart if he could see me behaving this way. He'd wonder what he did to make me distrust him so much...'_ You let out a remorseful sigh. _'He'd blame himself even though this all stems from my own insecurity. ...Okay. I won't spy on the conversation then, since it's none of my business. I'll just wait until I hear a voice. As soon as I recognize who it is I'll leave.'_ You continued on through the corridor, noting Hitch was not at her usual post. _'Compromise is important, after all. Armin's the one that taught me that lesson... so he couldn't get mad at me for this, right?'_ You tiptoed down the stone steps until Armin's distinct tenor voice rose to meet your ears, echoing in the space. _'I scrutinized this decision for a long time... Is he really still talking? ...Then again, Armin_ does _have a talent for monologuing.'_ You stilled your breath to keep perfectly quiet and listened.

"...but I think these memories would make it harder on everyone...

I remember how long you hesitated when your comrades forced you to disarm Marco... I could count the seconds."

_'He's talking to... Annie? How strange.'_

"Even Reiner... who you initially accused of not being up to this mission... he didn't mourn like you did. You cried for him because... even then you knew your duty was inhumane, that we were all the same. You never wanted to hurt someone who was kind like you." You crouched to get a better earshot. "But what could you do? Your lives depended on you completing your objective. Probably your families' lives too. You were fighting for their freedom and the homeland you grew up in. How were we supposed to compete with that? We were just an enemy territory, a people you were brought up to be fearful of.

And why not? As soon as we gained the power we became everything you projected us to be. Battleships, soldiers, civilians... all were wiped out indiscriminately, just like the day you arrived at our gates.

The more I think about it the harder it is to place blame on you for what happened. You were never the masterminds behind all of this. You were only the weapons, polished to their liking, armed with their flawed way of thinking...

I think this is just what happens when nice people are forced into situations in which they don't belong. I feel like I was in your position once... back when I still claimed to be a good person; before that day in the interior... I still remember her face, the exact details. Every time I look at Jean I can see her.

The faces of the naval men in Liberio... I made sure not to look at them. I kept my hood up as long as I could. I wonder if that makes me more despicable. It's not as if their faces deserve to be forgotten.

But... in the moment that girl was an enemy to me, and I ended her life without a second thought. I shot first because she hesitated. I used her own humanity against her. ...I guess that's just who I am.

Even back then... I convinced you to help save Eren... because... you wanted me to believe you were a good person." His palms made a light plap as they made contact with the cool concrete. "You're down here because I cornered you, lured you into a trap using your own integrity as bait." You could hear the bitterness, the self-loathing in his tone. "With Bertolt it was the same. I used his affection for you to provoke him and gain the upper hand. ...I even did it _twice_.

You know... it's weird to see your own face through somebody else's eyes; the way I so callously described the details of your torture... Even now I have to wonder... was I really trying to make peace back then... or was I trying to win?" Armin let out a very hollow sounding chuckle. "I guess the devil in us wins out no matter what... eh, Annie?"

You froze for a moment until the echo of Armin's chilling laugh died down and knew you didn't want to hear any more. Up the staircase you ascended, stomach churning, and squinted in the assaulting light of HQ's halls. You honestly had no idea how to process what you just heard. You knew Armin's mind went to dark places when he fell on hard times; he'd dropped the idea of suicide within the walls more than once. Logically it was the more favorable choice between that and being slowly crushed between giant teeth, but still... _'Has Armin really not considered himself good for that long?'_ You knew of the circumstances surrounding that day, that he'd been forced into a do or die situation, one which weighed heavily on his gentle soul. _'Does he honestly consider that the turning point? The thing that made him evil?'_ It was now that you began to contemplate his slip of the tongue at dinner the other night, the way he called Liberio his home. _'Is what Eren said right? Is he really starting to empathize too hard with the enemy?'_ Your eyes widened at the thought. _'No.'_ You shook the suspicion from your head. _'He's just thinking out loud. Armin's the same as he's always been.'_

By now you had made it back to your room, feet feeling heavy with consequence. You decided a distraction would be the best course of action. You needed to clear your head before he came by to grab you for dinner, otherwise he'd start to read into your dubious behavior. Yelena's history book caught your eye from its open placement on the desk and your peculiar interaction with her was called to mind.

"That's probably boring enough to take my mind off it." You sat down and flipped forward. "Page two-hundred and... thirty."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those confused about the rumbling, I know some manga translations call it "the flattening" or something else. But it's literally just the wall titans awakening and destroying things. Just to clarify.
> 
> Sorry this took me waaay longer to set up than I anticipated. I thought we'd be all the way to the tasty smut and crazy drama by now. Soon, my dears.


End file.
